Legacy: Dream It. Write It. Create It.
The other night, I was scrolling through Facebook. I saw a post from my Dad with a picture of my nephew Jacquan proudly holding a check in the living room of his Washington DC home. The post read, “as a son of Roger Banks and grandson of Elydia Lyles – Thelma’s daughter, Jacquan was the recipient of the Thelma Allen Scholarship Fund which will support his attendance at Harrisburg University”. Thelma Allen was my grandmother and what may seem like a flash Facebook post for many was the culmination of a number of moments for others.
Six years ago, I underwent an immense life change and time of reflection. During that process, I came across a template designed to flesh out life goals. One of my goals included establishing a Thelma Allen Scholarship Fund. For years, I would look at this goal on paper and quickly skim past it as I directed my attention to more pressing matters: ensuring my kids could attend their schools of choice, buying a business in 2 years, owning my own private equity fund and everything else… the here and now stuff.
However, as time went on and my paternal grandmother began to age, I realized that this was not something I could put off any longer. The written form of this goal began to scream off of the paper reminding that time does not wait. I decided to focus.
In 2021, my father and I quickly set up the infrastructure (gaining non-profit status, bank accounts etc.) to establish the scholarship. We funded it with a little over $2,000. My assistant, Jenna, had a large paper check created and we hand delivered it to grandma. Although $2,000 hardly makes a dent in today’s higher education environment, my intent was to set a new paradigm for my family about higher education. Several months later, Grandma passed on. Instead of direct cash for funeral expenses or condolence gifts, our family requested donations to the Thelma Allen Scholarship Fund. The paradigm shift had started.
Seeing the photo 18 months later, I thought about that shift and the legacy that Jaquan inherited. When Jacquan was two years old, his father and my first cousin, Roger was murdered. I still remember my Aunt Lynn’s pain and my attempts to comfort her. I was just finishing law school. Unfortunately, the pain wasn’t unfamiliar. I remember comforting her through the pain of her first son and my cousin Jabar’s murder. I was just finishing undergrad.
I’m not sure if my two cousins really had a chance. True children of the DC 80’s crack epidemic, their dad was an incredible father, very active but like many Black men –teenage to early twenties at the time, he was a drug dealer taking advantage of a lucrative trade. He has long changed the course of his life but the foundation was set. My aunt, young and beautiful, was on the other side of the trade, a consumer whose addiction was not beat until she was moved to West Virginia when she single handedly used her God and her inner strength to beat the addiction.
Yet, this is only part of the legacy. Thankful to his mother and grandmother, Jacquan has steadily changed the paradigm and created a new normal for our legacy. I am excited for what he will do and grateful to him for allowing me to fulfill part of my life’s goals for our family. When you have a goal, write them down and make them plain.